Brain blips: "Poor soul..."

The big problem with having had brain surgery, whether once or, as in my case, twice, isn't the big ass Y-shaped scar that decorates my scalp. It's not the med I'm taking, which has some puzzling side effects and has barred my consumption of martinis for the time being. And, no, it's not, now, as I wrote about earlier, the uncertainty of healing fully and avoiding seizures.

It's perception. It's you. Or, actually, my fear of you and what you'll be thinking.

Here's why.

This past week or so has been an adventure in misplacing things or overlooking things.

I lost my glasses and had to buy a pair of off-the-shelf reading glasses from Walgreen's. (Those glasses, by the way, broke, and I had to buy another pair tonight because my new tri-focals won't be ready until Thursday.) Then, a lens fell out of my sunglasses, and we haven't been able to locate it.

Oh, and I misplaced my office keys. But they turned up a day later (thanks to Joyce). She found 'em where I'd left 'em -- in the spare car, the Nissan Altima, which was safely parked in the driveway. The keys were there because we had been checking to see that all the lights were working (one tail light was out), and, yep, I had left the lights on, so the battery was dead. (Hey, it was daylight when we did the checking. Lighten up.)

And earlier, just this past Thursday, I'd pulled into the garage with the Miata, dashed into the house, and, next morning, when I went out to start it, the Miata was stone-cold dead. Yep, a dead battery because I'd left the lights on. Thankfully, the Nissan worked (until that next morning after Joyce and I did the "check the lights" exercise. But the Miata was working by then, thanks to Triple-A.)

Yes, I know it's confusing, but, now, you know why we own three cars!

(A note of defense with both the Miata AND the Nissan -- and not with Joyce's HHR, the lights of which switch off automatically. I don't hear well, even with my hearing aid, so the high-pitched "beep, beep, beep" the cars emit when you leave the lights on after the ignition is turned off is lost on me. So, on Saturday, I went in search of a solution from auto parts stores, looking for a device that either increased the volume or changed the sound to a loud truck-proud "ayooooogah!" when the lights are left on. No such device apparently exists. Interestingly, all the clerks at the counters of the auto parts stores said they'd like one, too, because they'd done the same thing!)

Ah, but back to me. And you.

I know what you're thinking every time one of those memory "blips" leap to life these days: "Poor soul. Those brain surgeries sure have taken their toll."

But, nope. Always been that way. Forgetful as hell when it comes to stuff like that. We were hoping the brain surgeries had fixed it, dammit. Still the same ol' me.

But in all this lies my real fear: That folks will, in fact, with every one of those little blips in my behavior, give rise to the "poor soul/brain surgery" response.

Well, again, it ain't.

So, family, friend or foe, please don't do that. It truly is my greatest fear.

Just chalk up quirks, any and all, to the real reason I switched from doing journalism to teaching it.

I truly am an "absent-minded professor." Always been.

And quite happy with it, thank you. Makes life more interesting.